Interview with the Mattpire
Dear Letters to People Readers,
I planned on sitting down today and writing a few more of these letters, but an 8 am phone call from a possible job connection with an offer of an interview completely over turned those plans. The time between now and 11 am Thursday morning will be spent brushing up on my InDesign skills, pretending that my portfolio hasn’t been collecting dust for the past 18 months, sleeping, eating, and other things too unseemly to be mentioned here.*
I bet you are asking yourself: How will I continue living for four days without Matt’s pointedly humorous letters to people that annoy him? My answer to you is: you won’t, you will quite literally die. But fear not, for this death is only temporary** and when I resume posting in the near future, you will be rejuvenated and made whole once again.
I know this is a scary proposition for you, dear readers, but I like to think of it like this: my employment is more important than your entertainment. It’s true, deal with it. But your entertainment does come in a close third in my list of priorities, behind my employment and my own edification. So don’t feel too put out, after all You’re my Number 3, baby!
Love, Matt
*Taking my cat to get spayed
**And possibly contagious, so use protection, kids.
